All the children of the world

Hey everyone!  So this is a rare two posts in two days.  I really won't be able to spend that much time here at the cafe cause it costs money, and I have to budget for food and stuff.  But here is a picture of my bedroom, prior to my arrival just cause I haven't taken any pictures yet, haha.  My bed is the one on the right side, it now has my stuff on it, and some trappings to make it feel like home.

This morning I went with Bekah and Tim (Amy stayed at home with the girls cause they weren't feeling well) to Thai church.  I really had so much fun!  Hard to believe since the entire service was pretty much in Thai and I don't know what was being said, but it didn't matter.  It didn't matter because all that did matter is that we were all there as a part of the same family, praising and worshipping our Father who has loved us so perfectly.  We shared a table and the elements of bread and wine to remember the body and blood of Christ that was broken for each of us, and that transcends language and cultural boundaries.  It really was the coolest experience praising together in different words that all had the same meaning, different sounds but the same feeling and emotion.  I loved hearing the Word read in Thai, and reading a long in my bible knowing that someday we would all be together for eternity understanding each other perfectly.  Even though the words were different, we all understood that we were sharing the same thing, and it was so beautiful and simple. 

I am really excited to know that I am going to learn so much this year, that I will be broken and put back together, and hopefully that shape will better reflect Christ.  Today I have mostly spent trying to say and give thanks for this experience. 

I am a little nervous about language school and I ask for prayers that I would be able to learn and pick it up and stick! I have been working a little already trying to pick up things here and there, but school is going to be quick and hard and a lot so I need to be ready!

Anyway, I hope that you are all well, and had a great new year.  I hope to hear from some of you soon, and miss and love you.

And so it begins

Hey hey!

I have landed in Bangkok...  After some long airport hours logged, and some even longer air miles logged, I landed in Thailand this morning and have been trying to take it all in ever since.  It has been a bit surreal with much of the day spent trying to wrap my head around actually being here, and all that I am seeing, hearing, smelling and tasting. 

I have met and enjoyed the company of the Hupe family, and Bekah my fellow intern.  We all spent some time together earlier talking about how things sort of work at WMF Bangkok, what to expect and so on.  In the next few days we will go over more in depth and I will hopefully have more to share and maybe even some pictures.

Right now I am looking forward to starting language classes on Wednesday.  They are said to be pretty intense, and I am sort of nervous about it, and I am trying to believe that God will help me through it and understand and retain the information I am taught so that I can start to communicate for myself! 

We will also be heading to India on January 20th and will be gone for 10 days traveling from Chennai to Kolkotta getting to see the Sari Bari people and meet some other WMF field teams.  Needless to say I am very excited about that.

I am having a really hard time holding my eyes open.  I am trying to make it to 10 pm before heading to bed so that I will be right and not have any problems with jet lag, but since my body is recognizing this as 6:49 am, and in the last 2 days I've had about 5 hours of sleep, it is a serious battle of the wills.  The eyes are starting to burn!

Anyway, I hope you are all well, and enjoy your weekend.  I love and miss and am praying for you!

Leaving Time

So the time has come for me to head to Thailand. How crazy.

This is short and sweet- if you want to contact me you can text the number 504-298-9061. Please please dont text the 336 number.

I am not saying I will txt a lot, or often, but i you miss me, or need to tell me something you can send it there. And of course email works (mh.layne@gmail.com).

Thanks everyone for everything, I am so excited and I am looking forward to sharing it all with you

His law is love, his gospel is peace

I hope you all find yourselves with loved ones celebrating the time we remember the birth of our Redeemer with your own traditions.

This time of year has come to mean so much more to me as I continue to learn about the huge sacrifice that it was to willingly walk away from everything Jesus had as the Son of God in heaven. The comfort of paradise was his, the power of creating and sustaining the universe was his, the warmth and community of the trinity was his, and for me, he became a cold, tiny, crying baby born in an animal shed. Yes, dying for you and I was Christ’s greatest sacrifice but I just am reminded this holiday season what a huge sacrifice strapping on some sin-craving, pain-filled, limiting skin was for him.

Understanding the whole fully God/fully man thing is hard to handle sometimes, but fully God/fully baby? Even harder to wrap my head around, I mean is there anything more vulnerable than a newborn baby, who can't hold his head up? And is there anything less vulnerable than the all powerful King of Kings? That is so the opposite way that we are taught to think to live- we don't do anything to limit our own power. It makes me think about Mary too, what an amazing young woman she must have been to be chosen by God, not only to share DNA with Jesus, but to protect him and care for him when he was an vulnerable little baby who depended on her entirely for his physical needs.

So this holiday as we are rushing and stressing, remember this is the time we remember the ultimate Missionary going to his mission field. Sure that sounds a little corny, but its true, Christ relocated from every comfort and ultimate power, to earth, to suffer, to be mocked, disrespected and ultimately murdered and all because he loves us so much that he didn't want to live in eternity without us there with him. There isn't any gift, under any tree in this entire world that can beat that.

Hard to believe that there are only 8 days before I leave for Thailand!  I am busy with getting ready, and spending the holidays with family and friends.  Mom and LiAnna have planned a going away reception on the 27th, and if anyone would like to go contact me for more information, but I would love to see everyone and get a chance to say goodbye for a while!  Financially I am doing pretty good got an update from WMF and right now I have $2,588.  Still shooting for the $4000 before I go, and over all $7000 but I believe that it will come in and I am so thankful to amazing friends and family for all the support and prayers.

Be safe, and have a very merry Christmas!

In all (F)actuality

So, I wanted to update the ol' blog here and give you all some stats on the situation as a whole. 
Facts:

• While I haven't recieved an official financial update in a couple of weeks, I figure my fund raising to be around $2,150.  Woo! 
• When WMF went to purchase the ticket for me to leave on the 20th of December, there wasn't actually a ticket to Bangkok from Charlotte, NC on that date.  So right now I am leaving on the 31st of December, which is nice since I will get to spend the Christmas holiday with my family and friends.
• This also means that I have a little more time for the fund raising, and as of now I have 30 days to raise atleast $1,850.  So in reality that is 92.5 people to give $20, which seems doable to me (although, I don't know which of you counts as half-a person..I whole love you.)!
• When going to the Word Made Flesh website (http://www.wordmadeflesh.org/support/give/) to donate there (that way you are able to take advantage of tax deductions) on the donation form, it says "Designation  I desire that this gift be used for:" that is where you put "Meredith Layne" (thats me!) or "support of Meredith Layne" or something along those lines.  The other place is if you want the gift given in someones name or memory.  Hope that clears up any confusion.
• I know my birthday and Christmas are fast approaching, and if you are considering getting me anything for either, I ask instead that you would please give towards my goal, that would mean so much to me! 

As for me, right now I am doing well.  I am working a lot, and my last day at the YMCA is coming up on the tenth.  I wanted to go ahead and leave there just so I dont run the risk of getting sick right before leaving, the H1N1 is going around there.  So I will be picking up some more hours at Border's which is nice.  I have been doing a lot of reading in the free time that I have and enjoying that very much.  Right now I am reading Compassion: A Reflection on the Christian Life by Henri J. M. Nouwen, and it is really good, I encourage you all to read it and take it to heart.

I covet your prayers.  I am being reminded that I am going to a dangerous part of the world, and while I am not scared at this point, I am worried about being afraid, that doesn't even really make sense, but I don't want to be afraid, because I wasn't made with a spirit of fear, but one of power and love and smarts.  I know I should be careful, and pay attention and be cautious, but I don't want to be overcome with that or let that be a focus at all.  I want to be focused on God, and that means being compassionate, and loving and broken, not fearful and timid. 

"Compassion asks us to go where it hurts, to enter the places of pain, to share in the brokenness, fear, confusion and anguish.  Compassion challenges us to cry out with those in misery, to mourn with those who are lonely, to weep with those in tears.  Compassion requires us to be weak with the weak, vulnerable with the vulnerable, and powerless with the powerless.  Compassion means full immersion in the condition  of being human." -Henri Nouwen 

daily struggles

Life never ever works out the way that you think it will. You and I can put all sort of stock into what we think will happen, in the probability of certain events and outcomes, and we will be surprised and reminded Who is really in control every time.
I have had a lot of recent anxiety about the money issues for my trip to Thailand. I am way under the goals right now, and talk of it happening or not happening are more serious every day.

Two weeks ago, someone walked back into my life that I thought I would never see again, a past relationship that never really had any sort of closure. I was given a choice, and just like always it wasn't an easy choice. I struggled, i stumbled and debated and racked my brain going over things; weighing my heart my desires and my will against God's heart and desires and will. I was being offered what I had previously wanted more than anything. It was mine for the taking, my hearts desire was right there in front of me, all I had to do was take it, and walk away from everything that had changed and happened in the last year. Why, is it still so hard to resist the wrong thing? I knew the entire time that this was wrong, it was bad for me, and it would change my life back to where it was, which was a dark and desolate place.

It wasn't that I still didn't want that type of relationship, that I still don't desire everything that relationship represented, that I don't someday want to have the chance to have that. In fact, walking away from this chance was terrifying because I am so scared (still) that I won't ever meet anyone that I share this type of connection with, that I walked away from love, and it won't be an option again, even though I know that it won't ever happen with this particular person...does that make sense? Yeah, I didn't think so either, but we all know logic and the heart don't go together so well.

What did happen is that the desires of my heart had altered, because I had been finding my delight (Turkish?) in the Lord. I love how that verse doesn't mean that God will give you whatever you want, but rather that you will most desire what He has to give you.

So I said no...it was really hard for me, first because I have never been the one to end things with this person. Whenever our attempts at working it out had failed in the past, it was always him who walked away. For me to be the one to end things, or to even put a stop to anything happening at all, was really weird for me. It was a role reversal and it was hard for me to willingly hurt him. It was hard to not have that option anymore, to completely step out on faith and trust that God was going to take care of me, and understood my needs.

Once I got over the initial hurt, and tears...the anxiety was gone. I wasn't worried anymore about the money coming in, I wasn't worried that God knew what I needed and was perfectly able to provide for me. I'm not saying that I don't think I will struggle with this anymore, but I see this as a precedence of sorts, that if I have resisted this temptation once, that if it or similar should ever come around again, I will have the knowledge that I can do it again.

Since then, my donation amount has doubled, and while I am still a long way from my goal, a plane ticket is being bought for my trip today. Since I no longer had a "back up" and believed that God was going to do what He said, the support has been coming in and I have felt so much peace.
I am still scared, still daily stumbling under the cross that I am called to take up and follow Him; but for now, for this moment, which is how I/we have to take it, I am steady in the steadfast love of my King.


For from Him and through Him and to Him are all things. To Him be glory forever. Amen. (!!)
Romans 11:36

Stick it to the man

Hey everyone, I hope you are all doing well.  Just wanted to post on here about donating and things.  If you are interested in donating and it being tax deductible then you need to donate directly through Word Made Flesh.  If you give the money to me, I unfortunately can not give you tax deductions.  Here is the link that you may use in order to directly donate to WMF: http://www.wordmadeflesh.org/support/give/.

Thank you so much for the donations I have already recieved!